Good in some parts, but in others...
For the score, I gave you a 3, but for this rating I'll give you a 7. The main reason for the low scores is because it's unfinished and even still, it could benefit from a lot of touching up.
First off, let me say that the story seems really solid. I like how you set the scary mood various times throughout the beginning of the story, but then it sort of started to go downhill (I assume you got lazy?).
There are lots of points where you randomly allow the white background space to be seen between the artwork and that tends to look -very- unappealing and amateurish. Before doing anything, I'd go back and fix all of the places where that happens first.
Then there are the parts where the artwork just gets incredibly lazy. The main part that comes to mind is at the dinner table when a couple of the characters are just a floating head, and the fact that you brought even more attention to the laziness by pointing and arrow saying "animator's day off" doesn't really help much. Another scene where this happens is when (Ann, I think?) the girl gets up to get a glass of water and all you see are two round balls moving towards the faucet and it takes a while to realize they're her hands, as there is no body anywhere near them. You could fix that scene by at least showing part of her body and/or head in the frame.
You also need way more sound effects, especially near the end [of this unfinished flash] where everything is completely quiet and a spooky mood needs to be established. You could benefit from some ambient sound effects or scary music. Violin screeches, instrumental hits or something along those lines.
Lastly, try not to slack off on the artwork. Practice making your lines smoother and connecting all of your lines, not leaving spaces between things that shouldn't have spaces there.
Don't take this as an "I hated this flash" kind of critique. I'm nitpicking here because I actually saw a lot of potential in this movie and would like to see it get a very good rating when it's complete. If the art could be improved and certain scenes could be fixed, I think it may turn out well. Good luck!
Wow, You've really helped me! I didn't think about the glass of water. I'll fix that, ( I know what scenes you are talking about when you mean "downhill" Yeah, some parts of it I got really lazy, Anyone can be talented but you have to work hard if anyone is going to notice,
HOLY CRUD! I DIDN'T SIZE IT CORRECTLY!... Thanks for pointing it out!
I'm going to work closely to what you suggested. and once again, Thanks a million!
I thought it was very good for speed animation. The animation was smooth and the fighting looked pretty natural for stick figures at least. You did a good job syncing the movements to the music as well.
thanks very much =)
I'm really impressed. This is miles above the normal flash animation and it flows pretty well in my opinion. Though, pretty cliche anime, the story is pretty solid and the way you set up each scene helps the movie to flow even better.
The artwork was pretty good in some parts, and in others, not so much. I guess I would assume it's due to rushing in some areas or having difficulty pulling off certain poses, etc? Either way, I did like the style you used, and the lip syncing was on point.
While on the subject of lip syncing, I have to say, the voice acting was great. Once again, miles above most other flash series I have seen. Especially good for something non-professional. Kudos to the actors. If you're reading this, you all did a great job.
So overall, I give it a 9/10, only because in some places, the artwork looked very rushed and unpolished. Maybe you should take more time to fix up the lineart in the next one, just to give it a better finished look. It looked like you did frame by frame, right? You used lots of static frames where the characters didn't move much, anyway, so just try to make those in-betweens a bit smoother next time.
Again, great job!
Thanks a lot! The story only gets better with each chapter; but that's with anything, right?
Actually, it's probably due to the fact that I worked on it over nine months -- during which time I even upgraded flash and changed operating systems. Just general getting better :D
I agree! Voice actors were incredible; they made me go back and reanimate a few things just because their voices were too good for my animation! They deserve tons of credit for making the characters come to life.
Oh, and don't worry, I plan to! I hope to get better with each episode (as should be everyone's goal, right?).
@JimmyBag: Yeah because DBZ references TOTALLY makes everything cooler...........
Anyway, this was great rtil. Another amazing animation. Even with the simple idea, you pulled it off nicely. I have to say I loved the lip sync the most. :)
newgrounds.com — Your #1 online entertainment & artist community! All your base are belong to us.